Our story had such a sad and depressing beginning... and has such a wonderful ending.

Like many two career couples, we had delayed starting our family until we were each settled in our jobs, had accomplished certain personal goals, including my husband obtaining his MBA while working full-time, and were in the best position to financially, emotionally and spiritually care for our children. Imagine our distress when, having waited so long, the months turned into years.

My OB/GYN was wonderful. Because he and his wife had struggled with infertility, he was a wise counselor, a sympathetic ear, and quite knowledgeable on the subject. From the various tests and the scope surgery he performed, it was clear that scar tissue, probably from a childhood attack of appendicitis and subsequent appendectomy, was completely blocking my falloptian tubes. However, the first infertility specialist we visited simply put us on clomid for several months. The drug worked (that is, it produced eggs), but given the blocked tubes, there was no way they were going to be fertilized on that regimen. We finally tired of getting no responses to our increasing questions, and following the advice of so many couples, visited Dr. Schoolcraft and his team.

What a welcome change. He immediately observed that other than my age, I was a very strong candidate for in vitro fertilization and suggested that we immediately begin the process. Of course, immediately for a couple that had been trying to have a baby for years, and immediately for a very busy infertility clinic, meant two different things. However, in a matter of months, we had started the IVF process.

I won't lie to anyone. I hate shots. As a child, I would have the dentist drill and fill cavities without the benefit of anesthetic to avoid an injection. So the next few weeks were not fun. However, the nurses and other professionals at Dr. Schoolcraft's office were incredibly patient and sympathetic. They took special care in teaching my husband to be as gentle as possible.

One of our big concerns was the risk of multiple babies. As Christians, we simply could not have "reduced" the number of fertilized embryos, a choice others make when faced with multiple embryos. Dr. Schoolcraft's staff was so understanding of our position on this, and worked closely with us to insure that we were completely comfortable with what the results could be. When the time came to implant embryos with our first child, we only implanted three. If God had graced us with triplets, we would have been incredibly tired, but would have ultimately survived. The other embryos we would freeze for our next attempt. Because I was over 35, we could not have "donated" the frozen embryos to another couple, but we reconciled ourselves that no matter what the outcome on this first attempt, we would definitely use up all of the frozen embryos.

The procedure itself was simple (for me, at least!) and painless. The following days leading up to my pregnancy test were almost unbearable. We were afraid to hope, and yet afraid not to hope. We prayed for God's will, but secretly prayed that God's will matched our desires. It was a confusing, scary and somehow oddly joyful time. When the nurse called with the wonderful news "You're pregnant", she cried with me. And we were blessed with our beautiful daughter, now almost 5.

Two years later, we tried using the frozen embryos, but unsuccessfully. It was sad, but we were still feeling incredibly optimistic about the possibility of a second child through IVF.

Several months after that failed attempt, we started the entire IVF cycle again. This time, Dr. Schoolcraft asked if we would be willing to participate in an experimental procedure he was using that allowed the embryos to incubate outside my body for an additional day. The benefit was allowing the embryos to increase in size (number of cells), which also increased the viability. Less than a dozen couples had used the procedure, but the results were impressive. Fewer embryos made it to the next stage, but those that did had a higher percentage chance of surviving. It was a wonderful alternative for persons concerned about multiple births. We decided -- without much hesitation -- to consent to the expirement. It turned out so perfectly. Two embryos made it to the 64-cell stage, we implanted both, and 40 weeks later our son, now almost 3, was born.

The entire staff at the Colorado Center for Reproductive Medicine is phenomenal. They were caring, sympathetic, informative, responsive... all you could ask for and more. They made an emotionally and physically difficult process as easy as it could possibly be.

I highly recommend Dr. Schoolcraft and his entire team.

Joan

What can I tell you about our journey that may help you on yours? Looking at our beautiful little girl, Rebecca, I think about how she has healed my heart. Is it selfish to want a child created from my husband and me? She represents our love and commitment to each other. In the four months she has been with us she had filled our lives in ways we could have only guessed at before.

Our journey was a long one. It was a mistake I would counsel others to avoid.The advice we received from my Ob-Gyn was relax, it will happen. I know that this probably came because all of our tests were normal and I had even been pregnant once even if it had unfortunately ended in miscarriage. The delay to see a Specialist doesn’t just rest on my Ob-Gyn’s shoulders – I too was in denial. Hard work in school and at work had rewarded me in many ways – this shouldn’t be any different. 

When a year after my miscarriage we still hadn’t conceived I analyzed every aspect of life. Diet, exercise and work were all analyzed to find ways to correct and improve them. My career was a high stress one, so I was certain if I fixed that we would be fine. If I could find an external reason, then I wouldn’t have to deal with the possibility that there was something wrong with me. When everything that could be fixed was and we still had not conceived I finally had to deal with the emotional issue of infertility; of thinking that I had somehow failed. This emotional issue was very difficult. It was insidious – affecting my husband, myself and even my family. I was so wrapped up in my own pain over the issue that I was taken by surprise when my mother expressed concern that something she did could have caused my infertility. It was the wakeup call I needed to start addressing the very sensitive issue right way.

If you have a perfectionist personality like I do, you will need to do some work on accepting that your fertility is not something you can make perfect. Don’t hesitate to seek professional help to deal with this issue properly. It is important that you move beyond the human emotion of laying blame. This can destroy your marriage and your relationship with your family. I was fortunate in life to be born into a loving family that discussed everything. So I had been taught the skills to work on emotional issues.  Once recognized it was time to begin the work. The “fix” didn’t happen in one conversation, but with time and work it did happen. My marriage was strengthened and so was the relationship with my family.

The In Vitro process isn’t an easy one. The support of your loved ones as well as the compassion and caring of your In Vitro doctor and staff can make it easier. For me, the process was easier if I understood the details of the medical process. Dr. Debrah Minjarez, who was my doctor within the CCRM practice, is a brilliant and compassionate person. She was able to simplify the complex and always recognized the sensitive nature of the fertility issue. Having confidence that your doctor is doing everything possible for your successful conception is very important and I had that with Dr. Minjarez.

As my daughter begins to stir from her nap, I would mention that the physical and emotional challenges are worth the effort. Accept humor where you can find it. My mother and I have a shared joke about my daughter. Shortly after my daughter was born, my mother made the rather humorous observation that she will be able to tell Rebecca that she was there not only for her birth but also for her conception. A special moment that only In Vitro can provide!

Patty and Wayne

My husband and I met and married in 1988. We spoke often of having children and how much fun we would have raising our family. We knew of many friends and family members who had a difficult time conceiving children. With that in mind, we decided to try for a child right away. Our daughter was born 14 months after we married. She is a wonderful child and fills our life with such joy and happiness. We marvel at the love we have for her and how she had truly made us a family. Since we didn't have any trouble conceiving her, we opted to wait for a year or so to give us time to enjoy her and to get used to parenthood.

When we were ready to try again, we thought we would have no problem. We were wrong. We had just begun our long journey on the infertility "roller-coaster". For 9 years we tried everything short of IVF. We would give up for a while and then try again. It was a difficult emotional and physical journey. We felt truly fortunate to have been blessed with one beautiful child, but we did not feel that our family was complete. So we kept trying. Over the years, I had two surgeries and numerous drug therapies and inseminations. My diagnosis was "unexplained secondary infertility". Everything appeared to be in our favor, but still we could not conceive.

We had researched our options for continuing treatment. We knew what the success rates were for IVF. We also knew what the costs were. We weighed the cost vs. the outcome. In January of 1998, some doors opened for us and we made the decision to move on to IVF. We consulted with several Reporductive Endocrinologists in the Denver area. We ultimately decided that our best choice for success was at the Colorado Center for Reproductive Medicine. We thought that if we were going to make this big leap to IVF, that we should maximize the odds in our favor. The staff, doctors and nurses seemed to understand our situation and were so pleasant and kind.

Our older daughter got involved in the process, as well, giving me some of my shots and coming with me on my appointments. When the time came for my egg retrieval, I was hoping for good results. I had 15 eggs. Of those, 9 fertilized and 5 were of excellent quality. We transferred three, 3-day embryos and froze 2 blasts.

When I came back for my blood test two weeks later, I was so nervous and excited I could hardly breathe! I went home to wait and think positive thoughts! When Marcia called with our results I almost cried. The results were positive. What a miracle! Medical Science had created a miracle for our family.

At our first ultrasound, we saw two sacs, one of which was smaller than the other. We were told to proceed with cautious optimism. Sometimes the smaller sacs don't mature, as they should. At 12 weeks I was discharged to my OB. Our IVF had been successful, and the rest of the pregnancy was up to me. Fortunately, for us, everything turned out well. Our twin boys, Dylan and Logan were born at 37 weeks in November of 1998. Our daughter was present for the delivery and even cut one of the cords! We went home from the hospital 2 days later with our new little baby bundles. Now we struggle with the messes and confusion that accompany twins, but each precious moment is well worth the years of treatment and effort that went before.

I know we were fortunate to succeed on the first IVF cycle. I know of many friends who were not so lucky. All I can say is that I will always appreciate the efforts of the Colorado Center for Reproductive Medicine. I feel fortunate to reside in the Denver area, so that we could work with the best center in the country. For us, IVF is an experience we will never forget and we will be forever grateful for our two small miracles and for the compassion and professionalism of Dr. Schoolcraft and his staff.

Sally and Steve

My husband and I have been together for 16 years and married for 12 years.  We had decided not to have children right away so we could travel and be financially secure.  When we talked about having children, we talked mainly about having only one of our own, and explored the possibility of adoption if we decided that we wanted more than one child.

I had a daughter when I was 17 years old, and everyone thought we would have no problems when we decided the time was right for us to have our own.  Little did we know they would be wrong. 

In 1998 we had decided to start our family and I went off birth control.  Within the next 18 months I started having fewer periods.  I went and saw my primary care physician and tried several things over the next 6 months.  Still no luck.

My girlfriend suggested I go see Dr. Schoolcraft who had just helped her to become pregnant. At this point we were ready to explore other options. In February 2001 we called Dr. Schoolcraft’s office and got a consultation with Dr. Surrey. He suggested some initial testing to identify potential problems. My diagnosis was “unexplained secondary infertility”. The only thing they found was a small cyst on my right ovary.  He said we would have to watch this and see if it becomes bigger. At this time I was feeling pretty down and wondered if we would ever have a baby. But Dr. Surrey reassured me that he would do everything he can to make this happen. I felt so much better leaving his office. What a wonderful doctor he is. My next two hurdles became removing the cyst in September and in December finding out that I had developed hypothyroidism. I had to get on medicine and regulate my thyroid before we could move forward. It’s so amazing how the months just kept on going by.  God sure knows how to test your patience. 

By July 2002 I was finally healthy and ready to start Clomid.  I soon found out that this would not work for me. I was producing too many eggs to allow a safe insemination procedure.  When we tried lowering my clomid dosage, the eggs would all stop growing. 

After this seemingly endless string of  disappointments, my husband I went back to visit with Dr. Surrey.   He and his staff were so supportive. I can’t express enough how they all go out of their way to help with the emotional and physical aspects of this process. He talked to us about IVF and a possibility that we could qualify for a research study.

The study was ground breaking at the time, because they were allowing the embryo to develop two extra days to become a blastocyst  before implantation. One of the things they were trying to determine was if women implanted with one blast had the same chance to get pregnant as the women who had two blasts implanted. The computer would make the choice, between one and two, for us if and when the time came. 

After our meeting with Dr. Surrey we went home to discuss all of our options. We made the decision to try IVF. We also qualified for the study.

As we got started I kept thinking to myself there’s no way I could ever give myself a shot and I didn’t think that my husband would be able to help get me through it either. With the wonderful help of the staff as well as my wonderful and gentle husband, I took the shots. I can honestly say it’s not the easiest thing to go through but the outcome was worth it. The computer chose one implantation for us, and the extra two days made all the difference for us. We were so blessed in January, 2003 to have a wonderful boy.  

Sue and Mark